Over the last few days, I’ve shared some of my favorite posts from the ol’ blog and it’s been fun to read and giggle and hear new perspectives from new friends. I guess if I’m really honest with myself, that’s all I hope for when I write. To encourage or to hear new perspectives. New takes on the world around us.
I turned 34 this month (pop! confetti! noisy things!) and have done a lot of reflecting on who I was and who I’ve grown to be. Had the time for it, so I kind of dug deep. Here for you is the ClifNotes version of my introspection
Not so many weeks ago, I had surgery, a hysterectomy, to remove a giant unwelcomed mass that was trying to take over my insides. I found myself bearing increasing pain for a really long time and long story short, I’m on my way to feeling so much better than I had been. More energy, more options, more relief. More. Except for when it felt like less. Like when it really hit me that the baby-birthing chapter was really done. Like sealed in stone done. And when we’re faced with an end to an identity we’ve worn for so long, it feels a bit like life-value surgery as well.
But while I was forcing myself to rest and heal, to sit and relax, I had time to think of all the things that had been added to my life that increased the value of my story. A husband who works so hard to give us a good life. Children who are beautiful, kind and smart, who constantly force me to face the reality of my imperfections as a parent and person… Ouch. But that turns out to be a gift in disguise because it reminds me that I, too, am a child, with the Ultimate Parent, and He’s got my life safely in His hands.
I think of the people I’ve met and the places I’ve been – how each new experience and friendship has so enriched my life in ways I would never have imagined. I look around and see traces of my lifelong love of learning, and the not-so-evident shadows of my past mistakes. I see dreams spread out before me, and feel the accomplishment of hurdles overcome. There is so much possibility in the future I can hardly contain my excitement.
To know me now is not to know the same person I was at my last birthday, or the birthday before. And I hope it’s always that way. I hope to know and grow more with every passing day that I am here to shine on this little world of ours. And to meet as many of you fellow shining adventurers along the way as I possibly can.
So, take a good look, friends. This Ebony before you will only be here for one day. And each day she’ll go to bed a little stronger, smarter, calmer, hopeful-er, and full of more dreams than when she woke up that morning.
Are you ready?